


Can't Save Them All

by GrayWardenSuledin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Brief thoughts of suicide, Character Death, He won't get that from here though..., Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance deserves better, M/M, Mild Language, Scars, Voltron Family, canon compliant to S4, eventually, kind of, klance, nothing super graphic, some blood, then Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-21 08:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayWardenSuledin/pseuds/GrayWardenSuledin
Summary: Lance is forced to watch his friends die over and over again. No matter what he does, he can't seem to save them.Poor Lance just has a hard time with everything.





	1. A Simple Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome all. I just got into Voltron and I love it. I have a lot of feels for these last few seasons. This story is placed somewhere around S4 and S5. Allura has some magic though.

The mission wasn't supposed to be dangerous. The locals weren't even hostile. We were only dropping off supplies. 

But the Galra swarmed the little village and we were cut off from the Lions.

'Red, we need help.' I call out to her. I can feel her moving toward us. She could buy the others time to retreat. 

She is almost to us when I hear a sickening snap. I look around wildly to see a Galra soldier holding a very limp Pidge.

“Pidge!” I hear Allura scream. 

Pidge doesn't respond. 

I run towards them as I feel Red approach. She smashes her paw down on the Galra soldier and Pidge is launched into the air. 

I hit my jet pack to propel me forward and catch her unresponsive body. 

I can vaguely hear Shiro call for the others to fall back to Red and I. 

Pidge is not responding to anything. I rip off her helmet, looking frantically for a pulse. I don't find it.

Allura collapses on her knees next to me. She holds her glowing hand out to Pidge's head. More tears well in her eyes.

Shiro and Hunk are here a moment later. Red has dropped her particle barrier around us.

“She's-she's gone.” Allura finally says.

“No.” Hunk whispers. 

I'm still trying to find a pulse. 

Shiro places a hand over mine. “She's gone, Lance.” I can see the tears in his eyes. I feel my own tears rolling down my cheeks. 

“Everyone into Red. Lance, we need you to take us to the other Lions.” Shiro's voice is steady. Controlled. 

I feel numb but follow the command. I still have Pidge in my arms as I fly the others to their Lions.

The castle is in orbit, providing the support Coran can.

With the help of the castle, Shiro and Allura take out the small Galra fleet. Hunk can't seem to leave the Green Lions side. I can't let go of Pidge. 

Shiro guides us all back to the castle. They had picked up Green on the way back.

We were supposed to protect her. She was the youngest. She was one of the most competent people I'd ever met. She was going to change the universe. 

But I failed. She's gone and I couldn't do anything to help.

Coran takes Pidge's body from me. Hunk can't bring himself to even look at her. I can't move. Allura's crying. Shiro's trying to stay in control. 

“Someone needs to tell Keith.” I finally whisper. 

Shiro looks at me and nods. “I will.” He offers. Always the leader. Always willing to do what no one else wants to do. 

I feel myself shake my head. “No, I'll do it.” 

They all look at me a little shocked. I ignore it as I slowly walk to the bridge. The others are following behind me. 

It takes a little bit to reach Keith. The Blades are not very cooperative sometimes. 

“Lance? What do you want?” Keith looks frustrated. “You better not be messing around.” 

I take a shuddering breathe. “Keith.” My voice breaks.

Keith's demeanor changes. “What happened?” 

I pull myself together for a moment. “It's Pidge. She-she didn't make it.” The tears start again.

I watch Keith's face fall as the words sink in. “What? How?”

I see Hunk and Allura crying in the corner. 

“It was a Galra trap. We-we didn't know. Didn't re-realize until we were surrounded. She-the soldier- I think he snapped her neck. It happened too fast.” 

“Damn it.” Keith shouts as he punches a wall next to him. “Damn it, damn it, damn it.”

I can see the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. “We can come get you, if you want.” I offer.

I really don't want to leave him alone. I know he's not the best with dealing with his emotions. 

“I don't need your help.” Keith snaps. I can't help but flinch. He pauses for a moment, wiping his hand down his face. “I-I'm sorry. I'll join you guys as soon as possible. I'll be in touch.” 

And the call disconnects. 

Hunk and I fall asleep in the lounge, not wanting to be alone at the moment. 

The Castle of Lions is silent aside from the occasional sob.


	2. Do Over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from bad to worse for our poor Lancey Lance. I'm not very nice to this poor Paladin.

 

I wake up to a banging on my door. I thought I fell asleep in the lounge, how am I in my bed?

“Lance, wake up.”

I'm awake in an instant and opening my door. Hunk and Pidge are staring at me expectantly.

“We're gonna be late for our mission.” Pidge says.

I only stare at her for a moment. I reach out and poke her arm gently. It's solid. She's really there.

“What are you staring-”

She doesn't finish her sentence because I have flung my arms around her, tears flowing freely down my face.

“Lance? What's wrong?” Hunk asks.

Pidge is squirming a little. “Yeah, what's up?” She asks.

I pull back a little and stare at her again. My mouth forms the words before I can even think. “You died.”

Pidge and Hunk stare at me. “Lance?” Hunk questions.

“We were attacked on Vorash when the Galra showed up out of no where. It was an ambush.”

“We haven't been to Vorash yet.” Hunk says.

“Vorash doesn't even have Galra activity.” Pidge adds.

“But it happened.” I argue. I don't know what happened but I know it wasn't a dream. I've been given a second chance to save her.

“Sure it did, Lance. No more food goo right before bed for you.” Pidge pats my arm that's still hugging her.

 

* * *

 

 

I bring it up to Shiro later that day. He looks skeptically at me. “We will continue the mission, these people need these supplies.” I feel my face fall. “But, we'll be on guard. Hunk and Pidge will stay in their Lions just in case.”

I smile at him. “Thank you, Shiro.”

He smiles back at me.

 

* * *

 

 

Pidge is grumbling as we land. She doesn't want to be left behind.

“Don't worry, we'll be back soon.” Shiro assures her easily.

I have my rifle ready as we carry the supplied to the village. I'm ready when the Galra attack, quickly taking down a few. Red is already on her way to me.

Shiro looks stunned for a moment. “Paladins, Galra are attacking. Get to your Lions.”

Red roars and lands on several of the attacking Galra. 'Thanks.' I push through our connection before climbing into her mouth.

I know what's happening because it already happened. I was stunned before but can take action now. I lead everyone else to quickly take down the fleet. We don't even need the castle.

 

* * *

 

“How did you know?” Shiro asks once we're all safe in the castle again. He's smiling proudly at me.

“I, uhm, it was a dream. I don't understand it myself.” I'm just relieved everyone is ok.

They all congratulate me on a mission completed and Pidge starts trying to figure it out. Coran has some Altean mythology that they start digging through.

We're all in a pretty good mood until we receive a transmission.

I have a bad feeling when Kolivan appears on the screen. I can't quite read him yet, but he doesn't look happy.

“Paladins, I have some news.” My heart drops at his tone. This is not good news. “We raided a Galra facility earlier today. There were, complications.”

There's a pause and I can't help it. “Where's Keith?”

The room falls quiet as Kolivan look at me. I don't need to know all of the Galra facial expressions to interpret that.

“No.” Shiro whispers.

“Keith was a casualty of the mission. The team was ambushed and he sacrificed himself for the others to get out. We have gained crucial intel with his sacrifice.”

“Who cares about intel?!” Pidge snaps. I can see her holding back tears.

Shiro has collapsed to his knees and is openly crying.

I don't feel anything. I saved Pidge. She didn't die. Keith should still be alive too. I know it was later than this when I told him about Pidge. He was alive.

Maybe-maybe it was something I did. A choice that cost Keith his life over Pidge's.

This isn't what I wanted.

Kolivan sends us the mission report as well as all the information that was gathered.

I can't help but go over the entire mission. Searching for something that might have changed.

I didn't find anything.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the worst Groundhog day begins for our poor Lance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we are on day 3. Poor Lance is just having a terrible time. Things are going to get worse before they get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is becoming much more than I really planned it out to be. I should have chapter 4 up pretty soon.  
> Promise the entire story is not just awful Groundhog day.  
> I am trying to get this story out before the new season but I don't know if I have the time. 
> 
> Happy reading

 

There's a pounding at my door. “Lance, wake up.”

I can hear Pidge and Hunk. I slowly open my door to them.

I hear them gasp in shock.

“Lance! You ok buddy?” Hunk questions, stepping closer.

“No.” I respond. I don't feel anything. “How can I be when Keith is dead.”

“What?” Pidge screeches. “What do you mean he's dead? This better not be a joke because it isn't funny.”

I stare at them blankly. “Kolivan told us yesterday. After Vorash.”

“Lance, this really isn't funny.” Pidge is glaring at me.

“Yeah, that's not cool.” Hunk says.

I only stare at them. “What?”

“We haven't been to Vorash yet. That is not funny at all Lance.” Pidge says and then storms off.

“But, we-we went to Vorash yesterday. There was a Galra trap.” I'm staring helplessly at Hunk.

“Dude, we haven't been to Vorash. That's where we're going today.” Hunk's now looking at me with concern. “Are you ok?”

“I-I don't know.” I respond.

 

* * *

 

“There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him.” Coran concludes.

“Except he seems to be remembering things that haven't happened yet.” Shiro states.

“I need to reach the Blades.” I'm almost panicking. The mission is going to be starting soon and I need to warn Keith.

Shiro sighs. “We can postpone our mission to Vorash and try to contact the Blades.”

“Thank you Shiro.” I'm so happy he's at least willing to believe me.

“Is this even possible?” Pidge asks.

“I think there is an Altean legend about someone who can see the future.” Coran says. “But no one who relives the same day.”

“Is there anything in your Earth legends that could explain this?” Allura asks.

“Well, there is that old movie about it.” Hunk answers.

I stop listening when Shiro starts to make contact with the Blades.

Kolivan doesn't look happy when he appears on the screen, but it's different then yesterday when he delivered the news.

I inch closer to the screen.

“Paladins, to what do I owe this communication.” He's curt, annoyed.

“We have reason to believe your raid on Maron today is compromised. We have called to warn you and your people.” Shiro says.

“How do you know of our mission to Maron?” Kolivan shoots Shiro a glare.

“That's not important.” Shiro responds as he looks at me. He didn't quite believe me until it was confirmed. “We are trying to warn you. It will be dangerous.”

“There are always risks with our missions, Shiro, all Blades are ready for that.” Kolivan replies.

I can't take it. He's going to brush off the warning. Keith is going to die again. “They're going to be attacked.” I say and push my way to the screen. “You're people will be attacked leaving the base on Maron and some of them will die.” I'm almost shouting.

Shiro places a hand on my shoulder as I see Keith come into view. My heart stops.

He's alive. For now.

“Keith, Keith!” I'm vaguely aware that I'm yelling now.

He looks over looking confused.

“Keith, you're going to be attacked leaving Maron. You need to be ready for it. There's going to be 4 Galra and a lot of sentries. You need to survive.” I can feel the panic attack happening.

The screen goes dark before anyone else can say anything.

Hunk comes over and places his hand on me other shoulder. They walk me through breathing and slowly I calm down.

I can feel the tears now. When did I start crying?

“It's ok Lance. Keith knows what he's doing. It'll be fine.” Hunk tries to reassure me. It helps a little.

 

* * *

 

The next few hours pass slowly.

Finally, we receive a communication from the Blades. The mission was successful with only a few minor injuries.

I can finally breathe again.

I'm not expecting it when Keith calls me.

“How did you know?” He looks at me with concern. I'm just happy to hear him talking again.

I stare at him for a moment, relieved that he's alive. “Lance?”

I blink and come to my senses. “I, uhm, I guess it was a dream.” I scratched my neck nervously.

“You dreamed that the Blades secret mission to Maron, that only a few people even knew about, was going to go badly?” He questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Uhm, I-” I've lived it. I can't tell him that. The team is already questioning my sanity. I don't need him doing it too.

“Lance, it's ok. You saved my life today. You looked terrified earlier. I want to make sure you're ok.” Keith is still looking at me with concern.

I let out a sigh. I can't lie to him. “Ok, this is going to sound crazy.” I pause before continuing. “I've repeated this day three times now. The first two times, someone died. First it was Pidge. I thought I could save her and then I did. But,” A shuddering breathe, “you died instead.”

“I woke up today and you were still alive. I needed to save you too.”

I couldn't look at him as tears fell again. He was going to think I'm crazy. Hell, I think I'm crazy.

“Lance, Lance look at me.” His voice is gentle and I can't help it as I look him in the eyes. He has a soft smile. “Lance, you saved me. It's ok. It does sound a little weird but you fly a magic spaceship Lion that can magically transform into a giant space robot. Who's to say that reliving days or seeing the future aren't possible.”

He-he believes me. He believes that I somehow saw this. I feel new tears welling up in my eyes.

I'm about to open my mouth to say something when the alarm sounds on the castle.

“Lance? What's happening?” Keith looks on edge.

“Intruder alert!” The alarm blares.

My heart sinks. “I have to go.”

I'm out the door, summoning my bayard as I run.

“Where's the intruder?” I call out.

“The core room.” Coran answers almost immediately.

“On it.” Allure replies before I can.

I run faster.

“I don't have visual in that room. They took out the cameras.” Coran sounds worried.

“I'm going in.” Allura says.

“Wait for back up.” I try to call out. This was bad, I just knew it.

I round the corner and pass through the doors just in time to see Allura being thrown into the core.

Her scream will forever be locked in my mind.

I immediately shoot the Galra infiltrator and see Pidge run to the core. Allure isn't screaming anymore.

Allura isn't there.

“Where, where is she?” Hunk asks, out of breath as he gets to the room.

“Her body was vaporized when it hit the core.” Pidge says, not turning from it. “She's gone.”

 

 


	4. Only Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has had as much as he can take . No matter what he does, it doesn't seem to matter.

 

There's a pounding at my door. “Lance, wake up.”

I recognize the tone and cadence now. The exact same as the last three days.

Nothing changed.

I can't save anyone. Someone always dies.

I get up and sprint straight past them, tears flowing from my eyes. I can hear their shouts of panic behind me but I don't stop.

“Red, what's wrong with me?” I'm sitting in her cockpit, slumped against a wall. “What's happening to me?”

Her sympathy pours into me but it seems a little odd, like from far away.

“Maybe someone always has to die. A life is owed.” I say, with a humorless laugh. "It should be me.” Everything seems to stop as I realize this. I feel Red, she doesn't agree. She's worried.

I'm not sure if it's the stress of the last few days or just that I don't have a strong bond with her. Her presence seems so far away though.

I slowly climb out of Red. Maybe the others can help.

I find Hunk in the kitchen.

“Lance!” He exclaims. “Are you ok? No one has seen you all day. Shiro postponed Vorash until we could talk to you.”

“I-I just haven't slept well.” I'm not sure I can tell him. I need to tell everyone but I don't know if I have the energy.

“It happens. I get weird dreams when I eat too close to sleeping.” Hunk mentions as he continues cooking.

He's approaching the oven, ready to get something that looks like a casserole out.

There's no warning. No slowing of time. Just a booming noise and heat.

So much heat.

Pidge says I was far enough away for it to just hurt. Hunk took the brunt of it.

He probably died instantly.

They tell me I should be in pain. I don't feel anything.

They insist on a healing pod and I let them.

 

* * *

 

The banging is back. “Lance, wake up.”

I don't move. I don't know if I can. I fail every time.

I can't save anyone.

'A life is owed.' The thought is more persistent now.

'They don't need you anymore. Keith was always a better pilot.'

I can feel Red in the back of my mind. She's worried.

I am too.

 

* * *

 

I try to save them. I continue to warn them.

At different points, I even convince Keith to come to the castle.

It's never enough. I'm never enough.

Someone dies everyday and I can't stop it. I've lost count of the days now.

It all seems so absurd. Like a really vivid, unending dream.

'A life is owed.' The thought is stronger almost every day.

Red helps when she can. She's the reason I've made it this long but she seems so far away.

Shiro dies while shielding villagers on Vorash. Coran dies when a system overloads and electrifies him. Pidge dies in her Lion in a tough battle.

Keith bleeds out after taking a hit for me. I cry as I hold his corpse.

'A life is owed.' the thought is strongest after that one.

 

* * *

 

The banging comes again. I finally know what I must do.

I don't talk to anyone. I can't. I must do this.

It's the only way.

There are no tears left when I'm recording my goodbyes. I set them to send to their destinations later today.

I don't want them knowing what I'm about to do.

I go down to Red's hanger. Her presence is a little stronger today. A humorless laugh escapes my lips.

'Take care of them. Please.' She whines in response.

The Garrison taught us about what would happen if you were jettisoned into space without a suite.

You don't explode. Not really. Your skin bubbles but that's not what will kill you.

Before anything else gets you, it's the lack of oxygen. Which seems ironic. You're in space and suffocation is what does you in.

I laugh. It's the best way I can think to die.

I start to move towards the airlock. I haven't been near the things since the castle tried to kill everyone.

I can feel the panic spike in Red. It's usually a warning for battle. Now, I think she doesn't want me to die.

'A life is owed.'

I can feel Red better now than I can remember. She's close, trying to stop me.

'I'm sorry.' I think to her.

I'm overcome by images for a moment. A fight with the Galra in space. A large Galra command ship. Red herself crunching and melting anything between her and the ship.

'Almost.' Is whispered in the back of my mind. 'Hold on.'

Her presence is stronger than ever.

The ship is rumbling and shaking but no alarms are sounding.

'Almost.'

The world fades to black.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He has been repeating this day for a very long time, like months or years now. Poor Lancey Lance.   
> Things will hopefully get better from here.   
> Hopefully will have the next chapter up soon.


	5. Coming Home

 

I can feel Reds consciousness curled around my mind. It's the best I've felt in a long time.

'A life is owed.'

The thought crashes through my mind and I'm gasping for breath.

“He's waking up.” I can hear a voice but can't quite place it. It sounds distorted.

I try to move but I can't. Panic spreads through my mind. Red's mind is purring against mine reassuringly.

I feel something touching my arm. “Come on, buddy.”

I know that voice. 'Hunk?'

He's alive. That's good.

“Lance, wake up.” That was Pidge's voice.

Need to move. Check on everyone. See who died this time. I can feel Red purr in encouragement.

I feel my hand twitch.

“Lance?” That was Allura.

I'm blind for a moment when I finally open my eyes.

“Easy, there, my boy.” I feel Coran pat my shoulder.

My eyes finally adjust and I can look around.

We're in the infirmary. Hunk and Pidge are on my right, Shiro and Allura on my left.

I can hear Coran behind me, presumably checking on my vitals.

“Take it easy, Lance, you've been through a lot.” I stare at Shiro for a moment, not recognizing his voice. It still sounds a little distorted for some reason.

I look around the infirmary. Everything looks the same.

“What happened?” My voice is hoarse.

Hunk is crying beside me. “I'm so sorry.” He bawls.

“Why?” I'm the one who messed up. I couldn't save any of you.

“We weren't fast enough. You said you were surrounded and we couldn't get to you fast enough.” Pidge was also crying now.

I just stare at them. “What are you talking about?”

“Lance, you've been a Galra prisoner for a little over a month.” Shiro is looking at me with concern.

I laugh. I can't help it. It's too absurd. “I haven't been held prisoner.”

Pidge only looks at me with more concern. “When we found you, they had you hooked up to some kind of machine. From what I was able to tell, it was a kind of virtual reality simulator. I didn't have much time to check it though so I have no idea what it was used for. It put you into what seemed like a coma whenever it was on though.”

“Plus, you were covered in cuts and gashes.” Hunk adds.

“I don't remember any of that.” I admit, only half lying. A simulation makes a ton of sense though.

Red growls in the back of my mind and I'm overcome with new images. I see a battle, I was out of Red, trying to protect the villagers of Vorash. I can vaguely remember this one, like it's been lost in the other missions to Vorash.

The Galra were too much for me.

I can feel Red's desperation as she tries to follow. She loses me in the ensuing battle. The others are confused when they find her in the wreckage of a Galra cruiser, empty.

I can feel her reluctance when Keith comes back. She was never mad at him, I've known this from the beginning.

Red is playing a scene now.

Keith is sitting in the Pilot seat. “Come on Red. I know you're connected to him. We need to find him. No one has smiled in weeks. We need him.”

Red only growls in frustration.

The next thing she shows me is the battle from before. Her and Keith are crushing through the ship and I can see myself now, strapped to some machine. Covered in blood.

I gasp for air as Red releases my mind.

“Lance!” I hear Hunk, Pidge, and Allura.

I can hear Red's roar echoing through the castle. Everyone looks around for a moment.

I finally notice Keith is here to, leaning against a wall behind me.

“Is that Red?” Shiro asks, looking to Keith.

“Yes.” We answer at the same time.

“What's wrong with her?” Coran asks.

“I'm not sure.” Keith responds.

“I need to see her.” I say, standing for the first time in what feels like forever.

Everyone surges towards me, hands reaching out. But I'm steady on my feet. I must get to Red.

“Keith, can you go check on her?” Shiro asks.

“No.” I respond quickly. “No, she wants to see me.”

“He's right.” Keith says, and for a moment I can see a flash of pain on his face.

“I need to go.” I start to walk.

I'm surrounded by the others still. They're all trying to check if I can walk and if I'm feeling well enough to go that far.

“Guys, I'm fine. I really don't need your help.” I try.

“We're worried about you.” Shiro says.

“You were gone for a very long time. We aren't even completely sure what they did to you.” Pidge chimes in.

“I don't need a full escort down to the hanger.” I reason.

“I'll go with him.” I hear Keith walk up beside me.

Shiro looks between us, an eyebrow raised. “Ok. Let us know if anything happens.”

Keith only nods as he starts to walk towards the door.

I follow silently and can hear everyone behind me starting to disperse.

 

* * *

 

The walk to the hanger is quiet. I keep looking at Keith in my peripherals. I can't get the image of his blood covered face out of my head.

He looks older now though. The way he carries himself and the look in his eyes. He's seen too much in this war. We all have.

He looks over and catches me staring before I quickly turn away. “Yes?” He questions.

“Uhm, I, uhm,” I rub my neck nervously. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“What?” He's stopped walking and is just staring at me.

“You, uhm, you piloted Red to come and get me. You and her pulled me out.” I say.

“H-how do you know that?” Keith is looking at me in some shock, a slight blush to his cheeks.

“Uhm, Red told me. Well, showed me.” I say.

“She-she showed you?” His blush was deeper now. “What-what else did she show you?”

“Uhm, nothing really. She just wanted to make sure I was ok. I can't remember much about being on the Galra ship.” I'm not really certain why he's making a big deal out of this.

“Oh, well, that's probably for the best, right? You looked pretty bad when we found you.” He was looking away now. “I guess it would be kind of dumb to ask if you're ok? I mean, who would be after spending that much time as a Galra prisoner.”

I can't help but look away. That's how people are going to see it. I'm useless now. Broken.

“No, Lance, I uhm, I didn't mean it in a bad way. Just that, uhm,” He makes a kind of strangled noise.

We both hear Red roar again. “I'm sorry.” Keith finally says. “I'm bad at this. Red is waiting for you.” And he continues walking.

I catch up to him and feel a smile easily slide onto my face. “I'm fine, ok. I don't remember most of it.”

He just sighs. “Lance, we don't know what they did to you. When we found you, you were cut and bruised and bleeding. You were almost dead.”

'A life is owed.' The thought comes unprompted.

We're close enough now to hear Red clawing at her hanger.

I can't look at Keith as I take off towards her. I hear him running after me.

“Red.” I call out loud and in my mind. “Red, I'm here. It's ok.”

She lands in front of me, kneeling so I can look her in the eyes better.

I can feel her in my mind. 'Easy.' I push though our bond.

'Live!' She pushes back, stronger.

I flinch and hear Keith behind me gasp. He can feel her too.

“What was that?” Keith asks.

I can't answer him. Red is in my mind again. She was trying to find me, trying to connect while I was gone.

There's an evil laugh. “You can't save him. He is ours.” The voice rings out.

Red bristles, she knows the voice. A Druid.

Red pours remorse into my mind. An apology for not being able to find me.

I feel hands on my shoulders as I recover. I can finally see Keith in front of me, staring with concern.

“Lance?” His voice is shaky.

I nod my head.

“What happened?” Keith asks.

“Red was apologizing. She feels bad for not finding me.” I respond. “It's not her fault though.”

“Pidge said there might have been some kind of interference. Allura thought it could have been the witch, Haggar.” Keith says.

Red growled at the name. “Red agrees with that.” I say.

“You're bond is pretty strong with her. She was restless when you were gone. We all were.” Keith looks away.

“I'm sorry.” The words are out before I even think.

Keith's eyes snap back to mine. “What? Lance, you did nothing wrong. You were captured protecting innocent people. If anything, you helped us find you. Your bond with Red was strong enough for her to finally locate you. It's how we found you.”

“Really?” I can't help but look at Red in awe. 'You came for me.'

“It really was something. I could barely control her as she shredded the Galra ships to get to you.” Keith sounded amazed, but a little sad.

“I remember, she showed me she was coming.” Right before I tried to kill myself. That's why she panicked, it probably would have been bad even if it wasn't real.

I can feel Red brushing against my mind, purring slightly.

“It's good to have you back.” Keith is looking at me seriously. He's still gripping my shoulders.

“It's good to be back.” I respond. I place a hand over his on my shoulder. “Red loves you. She's never been mad at you for leaving.”

He looks shocked for a moment before smiling and looking up to Red.

We stay with Red for a few hours, as Keith tries to fill me in on what's been going on while I was gone.

It's late when we end up in the kitchen. I assume everyone else is sleeping at the moment. Keith insisted I eat something after all I've been through.

I can't find it in myself to argue, though I don't feel very hungry.

“What are you doing?” I ask as Keith gets a few pans together.

“I'm, uh, gonna cook you dinner.” He looks unsure and a little embarrassed now.

A smile slides on to my face. “I didn't know you could cook.”

“Uhm, Hunk has been, uhm, teaching me. Shiro thought I needed to be more productive with my time.” He was looking down and I could see a pink tinge to his face.

“Really? Why?” He's never been patient but we just all kind of got used to it.

Keith is doing his best to look at anything but me, which is weird. “I was a tad, irritable, when we couldn't find you.” He finally admits like it's the hardest thing in the world to say.

“Aww, Keith,” I sling my arm around his shoulder. “You do care.” I'm smiling at him.

“Of course I care.” He snaps back. “We all care and we were all worried about you.”

He's glaring at me but his words are sinking in. I stare at him for a moment before my smile softens. “Thank you. I know this must have been hard for all of you and it hasn't really sunk in yet that I was captured. Thank you for caring about me.”

I close my eyes and rest my head on Keith's shoulder. He stiffens at the contact but relaxes a moment later. I don't care what he thinks at the moment, I'm just going to enjoy the fact that he is here and solid and _alive_.

I stay there for a few moments before I let Keith get back to cooking. The food he makes actually isn't that bad. Not on Hunks level, but good.

Keith escorts me to my room which I almost laugh at. He seems reluctant to leave until I promise him I'll let him know if I need anything.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are out of Groundhog day! Lance is back in the real world and has to get used to everything that is here.   
> Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns or comments. 
> 
> I have the next several chapters planned out and it looks like there's going to be about 12 or 13 chapters. I don't think I'll get it finished before S7 but I'm still trying.   
> Also, only 4 more days until S7!


	6. Training

I'm laying in my familiar, yet different, bed that I've had the whole time. It's slightly different than what I got used to. Not quite as uncomfortable as the other one, though I never noticed the difference before.

I don't know if I actually want to sleep. From what they told me, I was asleep for a long time.

I figure a shower might help me relax. Try to get back to normalcy.

I'm taking off my shirt when something catches my eye in the mirror. I look closer and see a scar I didn't have before.

It's on my right side and a few inches long. Jagged.

A few inches away from that is what looks like a puncture.

They're not large, just thin white lines on my skin. But there are a _lot_ of them. I take the next hour cataloging every new scar I have. I can't remember getting most of them.

I hope I never do.

 

* * *

 

I don't really sleep much as I wait for the reset. Don't get me wrong, they've made a good argument. But I've been through all of this and wouldn't be surprised if this is just another repeat day.

I don't completely believe them until the new day starts.

There is a soft knock, very different from Pidge's knock that I heard every day for who knows how long.

My body is sore when I move to answer the door. I still almost expect to see Pidge and Hunk standing there. But it is Allura instead.

I blink at her, confused. She's only ever come to my room with Paladin related news.

She clears her throat before speaking. “We were hoping you would join us for breakfast.”

I stare at her for a moment. Before, this would have thrilled me. Allura personally coming to invite me to breakfast would have been a dream. She had never paid much attention to me even though I made my feelings blatantly clear.

But now, I'm not the same person anymore. Seeing the team die over and over again in horrific ways changed me. And changed how I saw all of them. How I felt about them.

I do love Allura, but not romantically any more. The simulation at least helped me realize that. 

I realize she's staring at me, expecting an answer of some sort. “That sounds wonderful, Princess.” A smile slides easily onto my face and she looks relieved.

Everyone is already seated at the table when Allura and I walk in. Hunk is beaming at me as I take a seat between him and Pidge. Allura takes her normal place at the end.

“Great to see you buddy.” Hunk says. “I've made a great selection of near Earth food. I've made what tastes remarkably like eggs that I made into a quiche. Some kind of meatless ham substitute. French toast. A great assortment of fruits.”

“Hunk,” I put a hand on his shoulder, “It all smells delicious.” Because none of us ever thought the food _looked_ good.

He smiles in relief as Pidge starts to pile my plate with food.

 

* * *

 

Hunk and Pidge keep me busy for most of the day with video games. Pidge had managed to acquire more, though she was vague about how.

They didn't seem to want me out of their sight.

And I was touched, I really was. But I spent a lot of time in the simulation alone and even before that, the others didn't have much time for me.

They were busy, I get it. I don't hold it against them. But I kind of needed some space. They were all alive and that's really the only thing I needed.

“Guys, I said I'm fine. I just need to let loose some energy.” I say as they follow me through the castle.

“Is that such a good idea?” Hunk asks. “I mean in your condition? You could get hurt more.”

“Coran already said I was physically fine to train. My body is healed completely due to the healing pods.” I respond easily.

“But you've only been back for a day. Are you sure?” Pidge asks and I can see the concern in her eyes.

I'm still touched they care so much. “I promise if it's too much, I'll stop. I won't push myself too hard.” I say with a smile.

“Just be careful.” Hunk says.

 

* * *

 

Shiro is in the training room when I get there.

“Hey Lance.” He calls with a smile.

“Hi Shiro.” I say as I approach him.

“What brings you down here?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Just kind of restless. Needed to let loose some of this pent up energy.” I respond.

He gives me a knowing look and I am once again hit by the fact that Shiro spent a year with the Galra as their captive. And the more recent months after the Zarkon fight.

I shudder.

“I know it's only been a day and I don't want to rush you. You should talk to someone though. Eventually. It does help.” Shiro's looking at me seriously.

I scratch my neck. “I'll keep that in mind. It's a little too fresh at the moment.” I respond.

“I won't push. Just know we are all here if you want to talk.” Shiro smiles his kind smile.

I nod and return the smile. He accepts that and goes back to his training.

I input my own training into the keypad and ready myself. I'm not sure if my training in the simulated world will carry over into this one so it is set to one of the lower difficulties.

The small drones circle me slowly and I have a moment before they swarm.

They don't even get a chance to strike as I easily take down all six of them. It only takes a few seconds.

My reflexes seem to be the same which is good. Aim doesn't seem to have been affect either. I can work with this.

I turn the simulator up to just under what I was doing in the fake castle. I'm not the least bit worried.

The drones move unpredictably, zooming this way and that way. I take a deep breath and center myself. I've done this hundreds of times.

The shots ring out in seconds as the drones go down. I don't even break a sweat.

“What was that?” Shiro's eyes are wide.

“Oh, uhm, I got better.” I reply.

“That was very impressive.” He says but looks no less confused. He doesn't push for information though.

Shiro leaves soon after that and I'm left alone in the training room.

 

* * *

 

I try to go to sleep a few hours later. The castle is set to have dimmer lighting in the evening and night so I know it's well past midnight when I make it back to my room.

I wake up screaming. Phantom pain searing through my body from torture I can't remember yet.

I spend the rest of the night in the training room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are slowly going to get better for Lance. 
> 
> Mostly.


	7. Sword Fights at Midnight

 

It's been three days since they found me and I've slept for a total of five hours. I'm kind of used to not sleeping. The simulator didn't really allow me to sleep much.

The alarm goes off and I'm the first to the bridge.

Allura gives me a confused look.

I can feel Red in my mind. She's restless.

The others arrive shortly after me and Allura starts the explanation of what is happening.

“There's a distress signal. Part of the Coalition is being attacked by Galra. Their ships aren't really equipped for fighting and they need our help.” She finishes, looking serious.

We all nod and I step towards Red's hangar.

“Lance, where are you going?” Shiro asks.

I look to him. “I'm going to Red. She's pretty antsy and wants to get out there.”

“Is, is that the best idea?” Allura is looking at me, concerned. “I mean, you just got back. You haven't fully recovered yet.”

“Guys, I'm fine.” I reassure them.

“Keith, go with him.” Shiro orders and heads to Blacks hangar.

I see Keith brace himself for the outburst he thinks is coming. They expect me to be the same. Afterall, Shiro was, mostly, the same.

But I'm not that Lance anymore.

I only nod to Keith as we make our way to Red. I feel his eyes on my as we run.

Red is waiting when we enter the hangar. I sit down behind her controls and call a seat for Keith.

Red is purring loudly in my mind as I fly her out of the hangar.

“She missed you. A lot.” I hear Keith say and I smile.

 

* * *

 

There's no excitement in the fight anymore. Just reflexes and numbness. I keep thinking I'm going to hear a scream of anguish and the silence that comes with death. I don't let it distract me though.

The Red in the simulated world wasn't real but I flew with her a lot and this Red can see my mind. She knows what we can do.

And she does not let me down.

She does everything I ask of her. Even with Keith in the background inhaling sharply as we dive into a weak spot of a Galran cruiser.

I knew them all by heart now.

The fight didn't last long. Hunk and Pidge were tasked with helping the convoy. Shiro, Allura, and myself are on the offensive.

Red has my knowledge from the simulation. Knows everything about the ships that I know. It made them easy to destroy.

An inferno beam placed at the exact spot on that engine will overload the core, causing the ship to go down.

A jaw blade swipe to this outer wall will disconnect the plasma cannon from the ships weapon system, rendering it useless.

Using Red's claws at that point will instantly destroy the fighters.

Everything I had done dozens of times before.

Finally, the convoy is safe and the Galra are destroyed.

“Good work team. Let's head back to the castle.” Comes Shiro's pleased voice.

We all respond with our acknowledgment before I turn off the coms and start to head back.

“Lance,” I almost forgot Keith was here. “what was that?” He asks, staring wide eyed.

“Hmm?” I incline me head, a little confused.

“That! What you just did. How you knew exactly where to hit the Galran ships. What was all that?” He hasn't stopped staring.

He wants the truth. For me to tell him what exactly they did to me. How I have this knowledge of their ships. But I can't. They don't need to know.

So I grin, because it's what he expects. What he can accept. “I'm just an amazing pilot. Thanks for finally noticing.”

He sputters for a moment before turning away with “Whatever.” And I know I'm clear for now.

 

* * *

 

I can't sleep again. Memories of things I'm desperately trying not to remember plague my mind. Mixing with the deaths I witnessed and had to live through.

I'm in the training room again. It's roughly 1 AM Earth time and everyone else should be asleep. I'm pretty sure it's safe to practice with a sword. I feel like I could be getting rusty.

I'm in the middle of deflecting a hit and about to strike back when a voice cuts through the silence.

“Lance!”

I stumble for a moment in my lunge and barely have to avoid the next attack.

“End simulation.” I have time to say before the gladiator strikes again. I look towards the door where Keith is now standing, looking stunned. “Uhm, hi.” I say.

“What are you doing?” He demands. “This simulation level is hard for me to do. What the hell are you doing with it? And using a _sword_?” His face is red and he's shouting by the end.

“I, uhm, I'm learning new skills?” I say, almost at a loss for words. No one was supposed to know.

“This simulation is dangerous. You could get hurt.” Keith's approaching me, looking disapproving.

I huff a little. “I can take care of myself.”

He just looks me up and down. “Sure.”

“I can.” I respond. I don't need to be talked down to by Keith, even if he is cute.

“Prove it.” He looks smug as he pulls out his luxite blade.

“You want to fight me?” I ask. I can't stop the smirk.

“Afraid you'll lose?” Keith taunts.

“Fine.” I say.

We take position, each dropping into a fighting stance. I see the surprise in Keith's face when I look like I know what I'm doing.

“Go.” We say in unison.

Keith always makes the first move. He's impatient like that.

He lunges forward with a flawless strike. But he is predictable and has used that on me before. I easily side step the hit and prepare to parry his slash that is coming next.

The look of shock on Keith's face almost makes me laugh.

I easily start my counter attack and Keith stumbles for a moment.

The blows trade back and forth and with each strike I can feel Keith getting more bold. He was going easy at the beginning. He's not pulling his punches anymore.

I feign an opening and Keith tries to take advantage of the weakness. As he does, I drop lower and sweep my leg into his to drop him to the floor. I'm standing in another fluid motion and have the sword at his neck.

He gasps and looks up at me with wide eyes. “How?” It's barely above a whisper.

“I told you, I'm learning new skills.” I say.

“Lance,” He levels a stare at me. “Lance, that's my style. You, you mimicked my style.”

“I've been watching you train and trying to do the same moves. It's no big deal. Figured it could come in handy.” I try to deflect.

“It doesn't work that way. You can try to learn the moves but having the reaction time and ability to deflect like you did, that takes time. It's not something you can master by just watching. It takes time to learn all of this.” Keith continues to stare at me.

“Dude, it's nothing that serious.” I respond.

“Lance.” His voice is serious. “What happened when you were taken?”

I can't help but flinch slightly. He notices. “Lance?” His tone is soft.

I've heard that tone from him before.

 

* * *

 

It was one of the days I had convinced Keith to come back to the castle. He was helping us on Vorash when the Galra attacked.

I thought I would be ready for them. I've done this so many times now. But everything is always just a little different.

As I was covering Pidge and Shiro, I didn't hear the Galra come up behind me.

I did hear the cry of pain from behind me though. Turning to see Keith standing there, his blade in the Galras limp body.

I was grinning at him until I saw he was holding his side, blood slowly seeping through his fingers.

I'm able to reach Keith as he collapses into me. There's already blood everywhere. I press firmly into the wound as the blood continues to pour out.

“You're ok, you're gonna be just fine.” I say as I clutch Keith to my chest.

“Lance,” His voice is soft, “Take-take care of eve-everyone.”

“No, no, no,” My hands are covered in his blood. It's wet and warm and just _too much_. “Don't say that. It's gonna be ok.”

His eyes are drooping, breaths shallow. His face is too pale. “Come on, just hold on. The others are coming. Red will be here soon. We can get you in a pod and you'll be good.” I know the words are lies as I speak them.

“Lance,” he's barely looking at me. “Take ca-care of Shiro for-for me. He-he'll blame himself.”

“You have to hang on buddy. You can't leave me again.” I don't feel the tears sliding down my cheeks.

He smiles softly at me before his faces goes slack. Lifeless.

 

* * *

 

I can't breathe and I can feel someone pressing me to them.

“Breathe, slowly in and slowly out. Take deep breaths. It's ok, just breathe.” Keith's voice is soothing. He's gently rubbing circles into my back.

I feel the tension leaving my body and my breathing slowly returns to normal.

“It's ok. You're good now. You're safe.” Keith continues.

I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight. He's alive. He's here. He's real. I just need the reminder. I've watched too many people die.

We stay like that for what seems like hours. Keith continues to reassure me as I focus on breathing normally.

I finally find the strength to pull away. He's looking at me with concern.

“I-I'm ok now.” I finally say. “Thank you.”

He smiles softly at me. “Want to tell me what that was about?”

A humorless laugh escapes my lips. “Not really.” He looks more concerned. Shiro's words ring in my head. “But I probably should.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's that. Over half way done now. The others will slowly learn what happened while Lance was captured, starting next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Keith and I end up in the lounge. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to be comfortable.

It's very early morning now and everyone is still asleep. I am grateful for that.

We're sitting on the couch, Keith is close enough to touch if I reach out but not invading my space. It's a nice balance and I appreciate it.

I take a deep breath and look at Keith. He's patiently waiting for me to start my talking. “Pidge talked about the machine I was hooked up to. She thought it was some kind of virtual reality thing but she didn't know what they were doing with it. She was right about it being a virtual reality.”

“When the Galra took me, I didn't know. Even now, the mission to Vorash is a blur I can barely remember. I don't remember most of the physical damage they did to me. I get glimpses, flashes, of what my body endured. But my mind, what they did to that I will never forget.”

Confusion and concern are painted on Keith's face as I continue. “I was in some kind of simulation. It was pretty normal seeming, it all looked so real. It had started with the simple mission to Vorash and everything was normal. Until it wasn't. Pidge died on that mission. And all of us grieved. But the next day, it's like nothing happened. Pidge was alive and everything was ok again. I thought it was a second chance. A miracle. But it was not.”

“Every day, someone different died. No matter what I did, I could not save anyone. I tried so hard. I trained. Hell, I got the you in the simulation to train me with a sword to see if that would help. It was never enough.”

I hear the hatred and disappointment in my voice and hope Keith thinks it's directed at the Galra. I don't want him to know how much it hurt that I couldn't make a difference.

Keith is still staring at me, seeming stunned into silence. He slowly reaches his hand towards mine, like he's worried I'm going to run away. When I make no move to run or pull away, he takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers.

I can only stare at our hands, relishing the feel of Keith being here and alive.

It's a moment before Keith speaks. “How long were you in there?”

“I'm not sure. Apparently not as long as I thought considering I was only gone for a month. But it felt like years. Maybe longer.” I honestly can't remember.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks.

I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my free arm around them. “I know it wasn't real. I get that now. But I couldn't save them. I kept thinking if I was a better shot, if I was faster. Then maybe, but I couldn't save anyone.” It comes out more bitter than I plan.

“Lance, it wasn't your fault. You were hooked up to some Galra machine. There probably wasn't a way to actually succeed.” He lets go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders.

“Maybe.” And I can't hide the doubt in my voice.

“Hey, if you did your best and they still didn't make it through than there's no chance it wasn't rigged against you.” He gave me a small smile.

I can't stop the slight blush that spreads on my cheeks. “Why do you say that?”

“Because I know you would stop at nothing until we were all safe.”

I feel a small smile spread on my face. “You're being really nice.” I mumble.

He stares at me, completely serious. “Lance, you were taken. You could have died. It was like losing Shiro again.” His arm around me tightens. “You are the closest thing to a best that I have and you were gone. It was terrifying.”

He was shaking a little and didn't seem to be able to look away. He really cared about me. He thought of me as his best friend.

It made me really happy and I threw my arms around him. “Thank you.”

When we pull apart, we are both smiling at each other.

 

* * *

 

'A life is owed.'

The thought crashes through my mind. I know I'm dreaming.

I'm walking along the castle, though I'm not certain where I'm going. Everything is blurring together as my body moves slowly forward.

I can vaguely hear my name but my body continues forward.

'A life is owed.' The thought is strong.

With a sinking feeling, I start to realize where I'm going. It's the same path I took right before Red and Keith pulled me out.

The voice calling out to me gets more persistent and I can feel something tug on my arm. The panic is spiking in my mind and I feel my body rip out of the grip and sprint down the corridor.

I arrive at the airlock I was almost thrown out of so many months ago. I can't get my body to stop.

It reaches out a hand to press the airlock, opening the first set of doors.

Red is growling in my mind. Some one is yelling my name.

My body moves into the airlock and goes to press the button.

It never gets there as a strong, slender hand grips my own. “Lance!” The voice is muffled, like I'm underwater.

“Lance, wake up!”

The world comes into focus finally and I see Allura looking at me in fear. Behind her is Coran.

“Wh-what happened?” I ask, not really understanding where I am or how I got here.

“We were hoping you could tell us?” Allura asks. She still hasn't let go of my hand.

“I found you wondering the corridors. You looked like you were sleeping and didn't respond when I called to you.” Coran says. “I tried to reach out to you but you ran away from me.”

“I found you here after Coran called out to me. You were about to jettison yourself out of the airlock.” Allura continues.

“I don't-don't remember.” I say. “Why would I do that?”

“I'm not certain. You were muttering something about a life being owed when I stopped you.” Allura responds.

The words send a shock of pain through my mind and a groan escapes me before I can even brace myself for it.

“Lance?” Allura and Coran are beside me in an instant.

“Let's get him to the med bay. Can you get Shiro?” Coran is talking to Allura as they guide me to the infirmary.

“I'll meet you there with Shiro.” Allura responds before taking off to get Shiro.

 

* * *

 

“What's wrong with him?” Shiro asks once the scan is done.

“Nothing that our system can detect.” Coran says, typing into the computer.

“We know there was a Druid at the facility where he was being kept. Is it possible they did something the machine wouldn't be able to detect?” Shiro asks.

I'm silently watching them. I don't know what's happening or why.

“It is possible. The Druids magic can alter the mind if it's strong enough. It was never meant for that but I guess the old rules no longer apply.” Allura sighs.

“Is there anything we can do?” Shiro says.

“I'm not certain. I was able to fight against Haggars magic before but I don't know if I can do anything here. I'm not even sure what happened.” Allura says, her voice wavering.

“I-I think I might have an idea.” I speak up. I'm nervous to tell them but I don't know what's wrong with me and Red is worried. Her presence hasn't left my mind since they found me in the airlock.

So I tell them about the simulation. About the repeating days. The thought of 'A life is owed' that would push into my mind, stronger every day.

And finally, with the encouragement of Red, I tell them how I almost gave in. How I was going to jettison myself to see if that is what was needed. If that would end the cycle of death.

Through the story, they just stared at me with varying degrees of horror.

“You're mind was programmed to think yours is the life that was wanted. It was meant to beat you down until it seemed like the only logical way out.” Shiro sounded stunned.

“That's despicable.” Coran spat.

“I can't believe they would do that.” Allura looked close to tears now.

“Can you help him? Now that we have an idea of what they did?” Shiro asks, looking at Allura.

“I-I think I can.” Allura says but she doesn't look very confident.

“I believe in you Allura.” I say and give her a smile.

She returns my smile. “Ok Lance, I need you to lie down. I'm going to try and force the magic from your mind.”

I nod and lay down. “Can, can we not tell the others about this yet?”

“If that's what you want Lance. But they won't think any less of you. You've been through a lot and none of us blame you for any of it.” Shiro gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Thank you. All of you.” I smile at them.

Allura stands by my head and places her hands on either side of it. “This might take a little while. I'm not certain as to what I am doing.”

“You got this Princess.”

I feel the magic surge through my mind. It's not painful, not really. It's almost a searing heat. I can feel it enter into every crevice in my mind.

I'm not sure how long I'm there, feeling the warm magic washing through my mind. But then the magic hits something that stops it. It feels like a coiled ball of ice sitting in the back of my mind.

'A life is owed.' The thought surges forward with a vengeance.

I hear Allura gasp for a moment and the magic lessens.

Red growls and her presence is there to encourage me and Allura's magic. The magic surges forward again.

Allura's magic hits the cold spot head on and for a moment nothing happens. Then ice is filling my mind.

There's another gasp and Red is roaring loudly. Allura's magic is hotter now, almost hurting my mind with it's intensity.

The icy feeling was slowly fading as the Allura's magic forces it out of my mind. For a second, there's only an intense heat and then everything fades away to nothing.

 

 


	9. Found Him

 

“We have something.” Pidge exclaims.

It's a full day after my mind was purged of the Druids magic and Allura declared I was ok. The phrase 'A life is owed' hadn't popped up once since then so I was inclined to believe her.

So we're all siting on the bridge, waiting for something to do when Pidge spoke.

“Huh?” I question, looking over to her.

“I think I found out who captured you. I've been going through all our information on the Galra as well as what we received from the Blades and I'm pretty sure I know who they were.”

I'm just staring at her, unbelieving. I'm not certain I want to see the person responsible for that Hell.

“What do we know about them?” Shiro asks.

“His name is Loktar and from what I can find, he's not very high up. He made a move to power when we took out the general of a neighboring system. He did not win. He started bragging a little while ago that he stopped Voltron but no one paid him much attention.” Pidge explains.

“Why didn't we hear about this sooner?” Keith demands. “We could have found him weeks ago.”

Pidge gives Keith a look. “No one believed him so the Galra didn't talk about it. The Blades just recently heard the rumor themselves.”

“Do we know where he is?” Allura asks.

“We know where he'll be in a few days.” Pidge continues. “There's a large congregation of the Galra generals. Seems they aren't quite happy with Lotor's activities.”

“Seems like something the Paladins of Voltron should be invited to.” Allura says with a smile. It's fierce and sends a shiver down my spine.

They all want revenge. Because he hurt me. But they aren't thinking clearly. “Guys, we shouldn't just rush into this we should get as much information as we can before we decide anything.”

“We know where he's going to be and when. What else do we need?” Pidge asks.

“How about the layout. Security. Information so we don't charge in blind and get killed.” I'm trying to keep my voice steady.

“We know Loktar will be there. This is our chance to get him.” Pidge argues back.

“And what will happen when you get him.” I raise my eyebrow at her.

“Maybe we should calm down.” Hunk is holding his hands up between us.

“I'll take him out.” Pidge ignores Hunk.

“You mean kill him. You're talking about murdering someone.” I'm standing now.

“It's what he deserves!” Pidge yells, and there are tears at the corner of her eyes.

“That is enough.” Shiro steps in. “Both of you. We are going to see what information we can get on this gathering. We could deal a large blow if we can take it out.”

No one responds but Pidge and I are still glaring at each other.

“You are all dismissed.”

I don't look at anyone as I leave the bridge.

 

* * *

 

 

I'm in the training room when Keith finds me. I'm not sure how much time has passed.

I'm using a sword to cut through the gladiator when I notice him enter the room. He's giving me a concerned look.

“What?” I say and it comes out harsher than I meant it. I sigh and end the simulation. “Sorry.”

He walks closer to me. “You ok?”

I sigh again and walk to my towel at the side of the room. He follows. “I don't know.” I finally say.

“Have you slept since you've been back?” He asks.

Damn, I thought I was hiding that. “Enough.” I try to deflect.

“Right.” He gives me a skeptical look. “And how much is that?”

He stares at me for a full minute before I can't take it anymore. “Fine. About one or two hours a night. I don't like this new patient Keith.”

He only smiles. “I've been trying to learn from Shiro.” He turns serious again. “You need to sleep more. It's not healthy.”

That pulls a laugh from me. “That's rich coming from you.”

“Hey, I've gotten better.” Keith protests with a smile, shoving me lightly.

“Yeah, yeah.”

There's a moment of comfortable silence before Keith speaks again. “You should talk to Pidge.”

I sigh as I lean against the wall. “I know. It just worries me how eager she is to go after Loktar. We don't know what he's capable of.”

“She wants to make him pay for what he did.” Keith is looking me in the eyes. “We all do.”

“And that's terrifying to me.” I say. “You guys seem to want to go rushing head first into a fight without weighing the threats. It's dangerous.”

“Everything is.” Keith's response is quick. “Every mission we go on, every time we make a new wormhole jump, we knew there were risks when this started. We're all ready to take them if it means peace.”

“I know. I know we all decided that when Blue took us here in the first place. But I've seen too much now. I can't watch any of you die again.” I can't look at him.

Can't see his lifeless, blood stained face.

I'm surprised when he reaches his hand and places it on my cheek. “That won't happen.” He says.

“You can't guarantee that.” I retort even as I lean slightly into his touch.

“But we can fight like hell to make sure none of us get hurt again.” He's still staring at me. There's a softness in his eyes I've never seen.

I smile weakly at him as I feel my face heat up. “I, uhm, I should probably go apologize to Pidge.”

He smiles at me and I feel my heart skip a beat. He's never looked at me that way before.

I don't have time to consider this as I hear someone clear their throat. I look over and see Hunk and Pidge standing in the doorway.

“Go talk to them.” He moved his hand to my shoulder and gave it a gentle push.

I give him another smile before heading towards the door. “Hey guys.” I wave nervously.

Hunk smiles at me but Pidge is looking towards the ground.

“So, uhm, I-” I try to start before Pidge cuts in.

“I'm sorry.” She says and looks up at me.

“What?” I stare at her.

“I'm sorry. I just, I want to get this guy. I want to make him pay for what he did to you. I didn't think about how it would feel for you to see him again.” I can see unshed tears and I can't help my own.

“I'm sorry too.” I say as I hug her. “I just don't want anything to happen to any of you. I'm terrified of you being captured or worse. But I know I can't let that stop us.”

It took Hunk another second before he has us both in his arms. “I love you guys.” Tears are in his eyes too.

“Love you too, buddy.” I respond while patting his arm.

Pidge sniffs as she wipes her eyes. “We need a break. Movie marathon time.” She says with a smile.

“You figured out how to integrate your laptop into the Altean monitors?” I ask, getting excited.

“Of course. And I have my entire library of movies saved on it.”

“I'll get snacks.” Hunk announces as he starts to head off for the kitchen.

I chuckle lightly and share a look with Pidge. She's smiling.

I turn to look at Keith, who has busied himself with cleaning his blade.

“Keith,” I call out and he looks up. “Come on, we're gonna go marathon some of Pidge's movies.”

“Uhm, I'm good.” He looks nervous. “I don't really like movies.”

I start walking towards him. “No, no, nope, no. Team bonding time.” I wrap my arm around his shoulder. “You're coming. No getting out of this.”

He struggles for a moment before seeming to give up. There's a small smile and a blush on his face.

 

* * *

 

Three hours later, we're in our second movie. Pidge is sound asleep, curled up on my left side, Hunk is on her other side snoring. Keith is on my left, my arm still around his shoulders. It took him almost an hour to relax into the seat.

I don't remember falling asleep.

 

“Oh, you're awake.” The voice is cold, mocking. “Enjoying your time here?”

“Go. To. Hell.” I hear myself respond. I feel blood dripping down my arms.

My eyes finally focus enough to see the Galra in front of me. He has a cruel smile as he runs a finger down a curved blade.

“The blade has poison. It will burn in your veins as I cut you.”

“Sounds fun.” I rasp. I can see blood slowly trickling from my side. I can't feel the wound.

“Once I'm done breaking you, I'll sick you on your friends.” His smile widens. “You will be so far gone when I'm done, you will be unable to stop yourself.”

I feel as the blade touches my skin and can't stop the screams that come. The poison floods my body, igniting everything in fire.

 

I wake with a start, the credits rolling for the movie. Pidge is still curled at my left, Keith is slumped against my right. I can still hear Hunks soft snoring.

They were here. Alive.

I can feel the panic rise in me. He said I would destroy them. Did he break me? Was I a threat?

I start to move away from the others, slowly untangling myself from them. I feel Red in the back of my mind. She's filling my mind with her soothing presence. Reassuring me.

'Not broken.' She argues.

'Thanks.' But I still need to get away. Go train. Be better.

Can't let him get to them.

I'm almost to the door when I hear him. “Lance?” Keith's voice is sleepy. “Where you going?”

“Uhm, just wanted to take a walk.” I respond quietly.

But it's far too late. Pidge and Hunk are awake and blearily looking at me. “What's wrong?” Comes Hunks confused voice.

“Lance has issues sleeping.” Keith responds, eyes clear of sleep now.

“What? Why haven't you said anything?” Pidge is looking at me with concern.

“It's fine, it just happens sometimes.” I try to assure them.

“It seems like he hasn't slept well since he got back.” Keith responds, ignoring me.

I glare at him. 'Traitor.' I think. He just smiles back at me.

“Well, we can't have that.” Hunk is standing and going to one of the cupboards. He pulls out a huge blanket and comes over to me.

“Come on, buddy. We're having a sleep over.” He's smiling softly.

He starts to pull me towards the couch. I can't find the energy to try and fight it. Red's purring in approval. 'Trust.'

Pidge is curled up at my side as soon as I'm back on the couch. She wraps both arms around my left arm.

Keith puts his arm around my shoulder and sinks back into my right side.

Hunk places the blanket over all of us as he sits back on Pidge's other side.

I can't really move, which should be terrifying. But it's not. It's warm and secure. It's  _home_.

Tears are in my eyes before I can stop them. Pidge cuddles closer to me.

“It's ok, buddy. You can let it out.” Hunk says, his hand reaching across Pidge to rest on my shoulder.

And with his words, everything falls apart. I can't stop the words as I tell them everything. The simulated world, the flashes of torture I can actually remember, even trying to kill myself. The Druids magic and Allura's magic saving me.

I can't hold anything back and they hold me through the entire thing. Hunk and Pidge were bawling their eyes out with me by the end and I swear I saw Keith trying to hold back tears at certain points as well.

These people are my family and they love me. I am so grateful to have them with me.

I can't stop the smile as I sink into their warmth. The exhaustion overcomes me quickly. I feel my head lean against Keith's shoulder as sleep takes control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will always see Lance and Pidges relationship as familial. They are siblings who love each other but just don't like each other sometimes.  
> I love the bonding moment in this chapter.
> 
> Only about three more chapters left. Might slow down over the next few days with S7 coming out tomorrow.


	10. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of feels about S7. I will probably be writing stuff for that once this story is complete.  
> I am almost done and will hopefully have this completed in the next few days.

 

I feel Red in my mind while I sleep. Showing imagines, memories of when I was gone.

Pidge and Hunk sitting at her feet, hooking up machines to her. They're explaining something about trying to boost Red's telepathic link to Shiro and Allura. They all look hopeful.

 

Allura herself tried to boost it with her magic. She couldn't break through Loktar's magic though.

 

Keith kicks something out of Red's mouth, almost hitting Shiro. Red growls in disapproval and Keith mumbles an apology.

“We'll find him.” Shiro says reassuringly.

“But he's been gone for over a month, what shape will he be in?” Keith never looked that sad.

“He's strong. He'll get through it.”

 

“We got him!” Keith's voice is strong over the coms. It's met with collective cheers from everyone else.

“Bring him home.” Comes Shiro's voice above the others.

There is a flood of happy emotions as they head back to the castle. Headed home, whole once more.

 

* * *

 

I wake up as Hunk is setting down plates on the lounge table. Pidge is still curled up beside me but Keith has moved away a little. He's awake and staring out the window.

I miss the warmth on my right.

“How'd you sleep?” I almost scream as I notice Shiro in the room. I hadn't seen him there.

I cover it up with a cough. “I slept well. How long did we sleep?” I have no idea what time it is.

“Almost nine hours.” Hunk supplies, finishing placing the breakfast on the table.

Pidge starts to open her eyes and looks at the food. “I'm starving.” She states as she grabs a plate.

I feel my stomach rumble and can't quite remember the last time I sat down and ate a meal. I start to grab some food as well.

“Has anything happened while we were sleeping?” Keith asks.

“We received a transmission from the Blades. They provided us with more information about the generals congregation.” Shiro says.

“Really?” Pidge asks as she reaches for her computer.

“Pidge,” Comes Keith's scolding voice. “Eat.”

I see the comeback on the tip of her tongue before she only huffs and goes back to eating.

“What's the plan?” I ask and feel Keith's eyes on me.

“We know about the layout now and most of their security. Disturbing this meeting will fracture the Galra more.” Shiro confirms. “Allura and Coran are currently figuring out a means to get in.”

I nod. “We can help once everyone has eaten.”

Pidge almost chokes before she gasps out. “But yesterday you wanted nothing to do with this meeting.”

I shrug. “I changed my mind.”

Shiro and Hunk smile at me while Pidge just lightly punches me in the arm.

 

* * *

 

Kolivan is on the screen briefing us on the information they had gathered.

“We are sending in a strike team to help disrupt the meeting. They will be placing explosives at key points to destroy the facility.”

“And everyone in it.” Pidge mutters.

“What do you need us to do?” Allura asks.

“We would like to capture some of the higher generals. They could have information that could prove useful. We would need an escape plan. It will need to be large enough for the generals and fast.” Kolivan says.

“The Lions.” Shiro says.

“The fastest Lion.” Kolivan confirms.

There is a moment of silence as the words sink in.

Then, “Oh, Hell no.” Pidge exclaims.

“Yeah, that's not happening.” Hunk adds.

“The other Lions are quite fast enough for this mission.” Allura says.

“We will need to leave fast. The Red Lion is the best chance of success we have for this mission.” Kolivan states.

“I can do it.” I speak up.

All eyes turn to me with varying degrees of concern and fear.

“It'll be fine.” I give them a reassuring smile.

“Than the Red Lion will be our escape route.” Kolivan concludes. “The rest of the Lions will be on stand bye in case they are needed.”

Shiro and Allura both look like want to argue but fall silent.

“We will be ready.” Allura finally says.

“Good.” Kolivan nods. “Keith, we will send a ship to retrieve you before the mission. Be ready.”

And the feed dies.

There is complete silence for a minute. A full minute while the pieces fall into place.

“Keith?” Shiro's voice rings out.

I look at him as he shrugs. “They needed people for the mission. I volunteered.”

“No.” It's whispered from Hunk.

“It's no big deal. I am part of the Blades after all. I've gone on missions with them before.” He's looking at the ground.

“You're walking into a meeting with some of the most powerful and cruel Galra in the universe. It's a huge deal!” Pidge exclaims.

Shiro only sighs. “Is that what you want?” Keith nods. "We can't stop you. Just be careful. Dismissed.”

I can't speak. I can only stare at Keith as he leaves the room.

 

* * *

 

I knock on Keith's door about an hour later. Pidge and Hunk wanted to make sure I was ok with the mission before they let me go.

“Come in.” Keith calls, sounding exhausted.

I open the door and see him shoving something into a bag. “Look Shiro, I know-” He cuts off when he sees me. “Oh, hi Lance.”

“Hey.” I'm not sure what else to say. I can't stop seeing his blood covered face and I decided I needed to see him.

“You here to lecture me too?” He's back to shoving things into a bag.

“No? Why would I be?” I stare at him blankly.

“Well Allura and Shiro both think it was reckless of me to volunteer. They seem to forget I am still a Blade and was for months before I was called back to Voltron.” His voice is harsh and he doesn't look at me.

“Hey, they're just worried. We all are. This mission is terrifying.” I say. “We don't want you to get hurt.”

He finally looks up at me. I can see his eyes are guarded. “It's not that big a deal. You agreed to be part of the mission.”

“Yeah, as the get away driver.” I laugh. “The driver never gets hurt. I'm not storming the facility.”

“We aren't storming it. We're sneaking in. We do it all the time.” Keith responds.

“Because none of your stealth missions have ever gone bad.” I say and he glares at me. “This-this isn't why I came.” I sigh. I didn't want to fight with him.

“Then why did you come?” He shoves something else into his bag.

I get closer and take his hand in mine. “I came because my best friend is going on a dangerous mission. I know I can't talk you out of it but I'm still terrified. I want to spend some time with you before you have to leave.”

I see the blush form on his cheeks and know I have a matching one.

He stops moving for a moment and I'm scared I've messed something up. That he's going to pull away and yell at me to get out.

But then he looks at me and smiles, squeezing my hand. “Thanks Lance. So, what should we do before the mission?”

I can only grin in response as I lead him from his room. We are going to have some fun.

 

* * *

 

We're in the lounge with the Gameflux. Pidge taught me a while ago how to set it up on everything.

Keith is staring at me as I set up the several machines to get the system playing. “I'm not very good at video games.”

“Why am I not surprised?” I chuckle.

“Hey.” He punches my shoulder playfully.

“Don't worry. You got Lance on your team. I'll teach you all there is to know.” I smile at him as the game starts up on the screen.

He just smiles back at me as we take our places on the couch.

Pidge and Hunk find us two hours in and we all play Killbot Phantasm III.

Coran gets pulled in after that, comparing it to Monsters & Mana. He's terrible at video games but we all have a good time. I actually get to see Keith laugh.

Even Shiro and Allura join in at some point. Allura is better than any of us would have thought.

We all fall asleep in the lounge again. None of us quite prepared to leave with the mission being so close.

Keith stays at my side the entire night.

 

 


	11. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a POV change in this chapter because I feel like I needed Keith to talk through this part. This is the second to last chapter, so almost there.

 

“Remember to stay focused. We hopefully won't be needed, but if we are, we need to be ready.” Shiro says over the coms.

The Blades' team have been in the facility for about an hour and requested radio silence. I have been on the edge of my seat since.

Red is purring reassuringly in my mind. If something happens to Keith, she will know. And go in guns a'blazing.

That did help settle my nerves so I waited.

The congregation was on a rather large asteroid. It's pretty far out of the way of normal Galra routes. The Blades figured the generals didn't want to be noticed while they were conspiring.

There's a rumble in the distance. “The Blades just set off their distraction.” I report into the coms.

“That should send the Galra into a panic. This is when the Blades are going to grab their prisoners. Be ready.” Shiro commands.

“Yes sir.” We reply in unison.

I'm on the edge of my seat again, waiting to hear from them. 'Ok Red, we get in and get them out. Easy.' I think.

Red growls in agreement.

It's a minute before the com crackles and Kolivans' voice comes through. “We have our prisoners. Red Paladin, meet us at the rendezvous.”

“On my way.” I say as Red starts to head that way.

“We are meeting heavy resistance. Hurry.” Kolivan adds.

My panic spurs Red into moving faster. “We'll be there in a tick.

“I see our last target.” Comes Keith's whisper into the coms.

“Get him.” Is Kolivans' response.

I feel my heart fall to my stomach. “Who's he going after?” I ask.

“None of your concern, Paladin. Your job is to get us out.” Kolivan snaps back.

I bite back on my response. Instead I say “I see the rendezvous. Be ready.”

I see the Blades, carrying a few unconscious bodies. “Get in.” I shout as Red opens her stomach compartment.

“We're in.” Kolivan says after a second and Red starts to pull away.

We're speeding away to the cloaked Blade ship when I know something is wrong. Red falls completely silent in my mind.

“What's wrong girl?” I ask quietly.

That's when I hear a shout over the coms and Red comes to life. She's growling and hissing and urging us to go back.

“Kolivan, what is happening?” I demand. “Something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.” Comes Kolivans' terse reply. “The mission has been a success, no matter the cost.”

“What cost?” Shiro asks, voice hard.

At that moment I hear a gap of pain before Keith speaks. “Sorry guys. Looks like I can't complete the mission.”

“No.” I whisper and Red is urging us to go back so much. “Shiro, we have to get him. We can't leave him there.”

“Lance, we're on it. You focus on getting the blades to safety.” Shiro's voice is steady. Always the leader.

“Shiro-” I'm cut off.

“If you don't get them out, this mission would be for nothing. We'll get Keith.” Shiro demands.

“Damn it.” He's right because he always is. I urge Red to go faster.

 

* * *

 

Keith's POV

I can see Loktar scurrying away from our distraction. I won't let him get away.

The Blades did want to get Loktar for his knowledge on the Druids magic and integrating it with the Galra tech. But I had volunteered for this for revenge. I would capture Loktar if I could. If I couldn't, I would at least have the satisfaction of killing the monster myself. He would never hurt Lance again.

Loktar had secluded himself from the other generals as he makes his way to his ship. This is the perfect time to strike.

I idly hear the coms going but don't pay attention to their words. The mission comes first.

He's completely alone in the hall. I have a clear shot with the stun gun we were all equipped with. I take my aim and shoot.

Nothing happens for a moment. I know I hit him, why is nothing happening. I don't notice the magic powered lightning until it is ripping through my body painfully.

I can't move. Can barely breathe. And Loktar is approaching me, a sadistic smile plastered to his face. His Druid trails behind him.

“Come to see for yourself how much fun your friend had with me?”

The voices on the coms sound panicked. I wheeze before saying. “Sorry guys. Looks like I can't complete the mission.”

Their mission to come back. I will complete what I set out to do.

I take a breathe before reaching for my blade, transforming it as I bring it up to cut through Loktar. I hear the sound of splitting fabric before the sound of the blade squishing into flesh and blood. It stops as it hits the bone.

Loktar screams out in pain, bringing a hand to his side. The blade is still snugly embedded there. He looks pale now and I smirk.

“Bring him.” Loktar stutters out as he stumbles down the hall again.

 

* * *

 

Lance POV

I can hear Shiro speaking through the coms as I speed towards the Blades ship. “Come on buddy, just answer the coms. Let us know where you are.”

There's only silence.

“Kolivan, get ready to get out. We'll be at your ship in a few ticks.” I tell him. I have to get back there.

“Kolivan, who was Keith going after?” Shiro's voice is calm and demanding.

“He had volunteered to get General Loktar. He was to retrieve him and get out like the rest of us.” Kolivan states.

“And you let him go alone?” Is Hunks outraged voice.

I slam the breaks on Red as we land in the hangar. “Everybody out.” I say as Red opens her chest compartment.

I don't ask if they're gone before Red and I are careening back towards the asteroid.

“Do we know what ship is Loktars?” Allura asks, hope in her voice.

“We weren't able to identify the generals ships. It could be any of them.” Comes Pidges response.

“Then we can't risk destroying any of the ships. Go for their engines.” Shiro commands.

“Red,” I mutter, “find him. You've done it before, I know you still can.”

With that, I close my eyes as I let Red take over for a moment.

She's humming in my mind as she reaches out and I can see through her eyes. I can see him. He's slowly being dragged down a long corridor.

I gasp as the vision releases. “Guys, he's in the east corridor, going to the ship on the outer edge.” I say into the coms.

“How do-” Pidge starts.

“Red found him. Hurry, they're almost to the ship.”

“Uhm, guys, they've started sending out the fighters.” Hunk announces, sounding nervous.

“We can hold them off. Shiro, go.” Allura responds.

“I'll be there in thirty ticks. Hang on.” I say as Red speeds through space.

“We got this. Go help Shiro.” Comes Pidge's reply.

The asteroid comes into view and I concentrate on finding Keith again. “Shiro, they're not on the ship yet.” I advise.

“Understood.” Was the only response I received before I see Black ripping through the ship like it's tissue paper.

This close, Red can pinpoint exactly where Keith is. There's no conscious thought as we agree on our plan of action.

Red dives and we are crashing through the corridor between Keith and the ship.

“Keith?!” I scream as I jump out of Red and sprint down the corridor. We had to crash a little ways down to ensure Keith wasn't hurt from the falling debris.

I round a corner and stop abruptly. I see Keith and am filled with relief for half a second before my blood freezes.

Loktar is standing with Keith's blade to Keith's throat. His smile is the same sadistic grin I can never forget. He looks paler than I remember though and he's favoring his left side.

“Red Paladin! Nice of you to come back to me. We're going to have so much fun. And look, you're friend can enjoy it with us.”

“I'm going to kill you.” I growl out.

He only laughs. “You won't. You don't want your friend here,” he presses the blade a little harder against Keith's neck, drawing a bead of blood. “to get hurt.”

Red growls in my mind, giving me enough warning to dodge the magic lightning. The Druid appears behind me as I swing my Bayard around.

The lightning flashes again and I roll out of the way. I can't get a clear shot as the druid continues to teleport around.

Loktar seems content to let me fight the Druid.

“Keith, buddy,” I shout out. “I need you to wake up for me now.”

The Druid shoots another blast of lightning that I deflect with my shield before firing a volley back at the Druids general area. Of course, he teleports away.

The Druid reappears a few feet away and I prepare for another attack. It doesn't come.

Instead, I look back and see a glowing purple hand clamped down on the Druids arm.

“Lance.” Comes Shiro's command and I'm already bring my forming sniper rifle up to my eye.

Time slows for a moment as I breathe out and pull the trigger. An instant later, the Druids head snaps back and the body goes limp.

I turn my sniper rifle on Loktar, who looks more frightened than I've ever seen. I feel Shiro come up beside me.

“It's over Loktar.” Shiro speaks. “Your ship is destroyed. You're alone.”

“But you forget, I have one of your people. Don't take another step or he'll be in a lot of pain.” Loktar is still smirking but I can see the fear in his eyes.

“If you kill him, you're as good as dead.” I've never heard Shiro sound so dangerous. It sends a shiver down my spine.

It seems to have the same effect on Loktar. He pales even more and loses his smirk.

Loktar looks like he's about to say something when Keith rams his elbow into Loktar's side. He screams in pain and drops the blade to the ground.

I didn't hesitate as I let loose another round into his chest. He falls a second later.

Shiro doesn't waste any time and goes straight to Keith's side.

“Are you ok.” He asks, concerned.

I wait for a few more moments, looking up and down the corridor. Loktar wasn't moving and there was a lot of blood coming from him but that didn't mean others wouldn't come. I won't let anyone sneak up on us.

I hear Keith cough before responding. “I'm fine, just a little dizzy.”

“We need to get out of here!” Pidge exclaims over the coms.

“On our way.” Shiro responds as he reaches for Keith.

We're almost around the corner when it happens. There's a gasp from behind us before the sound of a gun goes off.

I feel myself being pushed out of the way before my shield has time to form. Then there's a gasp of pain that's far too familiar by this point.

But I don't have time to think about that because someone behind us shot a gun. My rifle is aimed and firing back down the hall before I even have a clear view.

I hear some of the bullets hit their mark and Loktar slumps against the ground. I watch him for what seems like years, waiting for him to move. He never does.

I'm brought back to reality by Shiro's desperate voice.

“Come on, Keith. You have to keep your eyes open.” There's once again too much blood. Shiro has his hands placed on the wound but it's slowly seeping blood through his fingers.

“No, no, no, no. Damn it.” I breathe out as I crash to my knees beside Keith and Shiro. “What do we do?”

“I, uh,” Shiro's eyes look panicked. I watch him take a deep breathe before his eyes focus. “Lance, you need to get him to the castle. You're the fastest and have the best chance of making it in time.”

“Shiro, I-”

“You can do this Lance. We believe in you.” Shiro's eyes are locked on mine and I can see he's telling the truth.

I let out a shaky breath and nod. “I can do it.”

Shiro helps put Keith on my back and I'm running to Red as fast I can.

I can hear Shiro over the coms again, telling Coran to bring the castle ship to us and have a healing pod ready as soon as possible.

I tune out everything after that. The only thing that matters is the slight rise and fall of Keith's chest as he breathes. I can feel his blood slowly dripping from its wound.

Red is taking off as soon as we are in her mouth and I stumble for a moment before collapsing into the pilot chair. I am now cradling Keith to my chest as I try to apply pressure to his wound.

Red is mostly flying on her own, speeding toward her hanger in the castle as fast as she can.

Keith's eyes are closed and I can't stop the panic. “Come on, buddy. You have to pull through this. Who'm I gonna make fun of. You're stronger than this.” The tears won't stop now.

His breathing is slowing and I feel my world crashing around me. “You lied. You told me this wouldn't happen.” My vision is blurring. “If you die, I'll never forgive you.”

“We see you Lance.” Comes Corans voice over the coms. “You're a few ticks out. The pod is ready.”

“You're almost there, just hold on.” But his pulse is weak, barely there at all.

“I love you.” I whisper as he stops breathing.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regrettably, I did not find a way for Lance's sword to make an appearance. I'm terrible with fight scenes but working on them.


	12. Conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. The final chapter.

 

The castle is silent. It has been days since the congregation and we all seem to be keeping ourselves busy.

I've been throwing myself into Loktar's research that the Blades managed to recover. Loktar was using the Druids magic to make the simulated world as real as possible to make me believe it was _actually_ real.

The simulator itself was designed to kill my soul. Basically empty my body so it can be reprogrammed with whatever Loktar wanted.

It's apparently loosely based on research into cloning and putting new consciousness into the cloned body. But apparently cloning is a lot more work and Loktar was trying to cut back on costs.

The research terrifies me but Red is always there to bring me back.

 

* * *

 

I'm wandering aimlessly through the castle now. I don't know where I'm going or if I even have a destination in mind but I feel like I need to keep moving. That's where Shiro finds me.

“Lance,” He greets though without any enthusiasm. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. None of us really have.

“Is that Keith's jacket?” He's looking at my arms.

I look down and realize I have the jacket draped in my arms. “Oh, uhm, yeah. I found it in the lounge. I'm sorry, I should have put it in his room.”

Shiro holds his hand up, a soft smile on his face. “I think he would want you to keep it around if it helps you. I know you'll take good care of it.”

I find myself smiling at the jacket. “Thanks Shiro. I promise it's safe with me.”

Shiro nods. “You should get some sleep. Looks like you haven't slept since the congregation.”

I let out a sigh. “It's just hard. I can't stop seeing his face.” I can't help the shudder that goes through me.

Shiro nods again in understanding. “It'll get a little easier with time. But some thing never quite leave you. Don't let it stop you from moving forward though. Everything will work out.”

I feel a little better at his words. A little lighter. “Thank you Shiro.” I say and smile at him. “You should get some sleep too.”

 

* * *

 

I know I should go to my room but my feet lead me somewhere else. And I'm not surprised when I enter the infirmary.

I shrug off my own jacket and slip my arms into Keiths. It's warm and slightly comforting. It makes me miss him a little more though.

I check his pod and everything seems to be ok. It estimates he'll be out in a day or two. It only helps a little.

I can't close my eyes without seeing him bleeding out in my arms.

Red purrs in my mind and I relax a little. Her presence is soothing. We've all been throwing ourselves into something to avoid worrying about Keith.

Logically, we know he will be fine, but I think this was closer than any of us are comfortable with. None of us had been that close to death, not even when the crystal exploded back on Airus.

It shook everyone far too much. Most of us haven't been sleeping well for the last few days.

I lean against Keith's pod and slide to the floor. I can feel the exhaustion weighing down on me now and Red pushing my mind to sleep.

She continues to purr as I close my eyes and let sleep finally claim my mind.

 

* * *

 

I feel Red in my mind, rousing me from sleep. For a moment I'm groggy. I don't remember where I am or what I'm doing here.

But the slow beeping from the pod brings me back to reality.

I can feel Red's excitement and it helps calm my nerves. Something good is happening.

And then Red is silent and the pod is slowly opening. It felt like time slowed to an infuriating pace.

The glass is slowly sliding down and I can see Keith as the pod defrosts him. There's a sharp intake of breath and I'm not sure if it comes from me or him.

Then he's falling into my waiting arms and he's breathing and warm and _alive_. I immediately wrap him in my arms to stabilize him. And I want nothing more than to hold Keith for the rest of my life so I can continue to be sure he's alive.

But the moment passes and reality comes back in a rush.

I clear my throat before speaking up, “H-hey Keith. How are you feeling?”

He looks up at me and is silent for a moment. He seems to get his feet back under him and slowly pulls out of my arms. I already miss the feeling.

“What-what happened?” He's looking around the infirmary now. His eyes travel back to me and stares. “Is that my jacket?”

I pause and look down at myself. I'm still wearing Keith's jacket and I can feel my face heating up. “Oh, uhm, I-I'm sorry.” I don't know what else to say. I quickly take it off and hand it back to him.

He hesitates before taking the jacket. “Thanks.”

I want to say something. Tell him how much he means to me. I go to open my mouth when the infirmary door opens instead.

Coran is the first to rush into the room and immediately starts checking over Keith. “How are you feeling? Any numb feelings or tingling?”

Shiro and Allura enter a second later but stay back a little bit while Coran works.

“I feel fine.” Keith responds. “I don't really remember much though?”

“Oh, we'll be able to fill you in later.” Coran dismisses. He's tapping something out on a tablet before speaking again. “Looks like the pod fixed you up just fine. You're back to tip top shape.”

I let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding and smile happily at the news.

“That's wonderful to hear.” Allura exclaims.

“That is great news.” Shiro is smiling too.

I kind of get the feeling I'm just in the way. “I'm going to go let Hunk and Pidge know. Hunk will probably want to cook something delicious in celebration.” I say and quickly excuse myself without looking back.

 

* * *

 

Hunk is humming quietly as he prepares dinner. He looks happier than he's been since before the congregation.

I can't blame him. We're alive, we're together. No one is even in a pod. Things finally seem to be getting back to normal.

Well, what constitutes as normal when you're living in a spaceship and fly around in magical Lions.

“Lance.” I hear my name and look towards the source. I see Keith in the doorway, holding my jacket. “Can, uhm, can I have a word with you?”

I look at Hunk for a moment, he just shrugs. “Sure.” I say as I look back at Keith.

I follow him silently to the lounge. This area is silent and I figure Shiro, Allura, and Coran are on the bridge and Pidge is in Greens hanger.

We settle on one of the couches, a few inches apart.

“So, how are you feeling?” I ask after a moment. I notice he's still holding my jacket.

“I'm good. Coran says I'm completely healed.” Keith responds as he stares out into space. “I don't really remember much. I'm not even sure how I got hurt.”

“Did Shiro or Allura not tell you?” I ask. I'm not sure why they wouldn't have told him.

“No, Shiro said there would be time for that later. Did we get the generals? Did we get Loktar?” He's looking down at my jacket now.

“A lot of the generals are in different secure facilities with the Blades. Loktar never made it off the asteroid.” I say. I don't really feel anything now that Loktar's dead. I thought there might be some kind of relief, but there's not.

“So I failed. Kolivan is gonna be mad.” Keith says.

“Let him be mad.” I respond instantly, my tone angry, and Keith looks at me with shock. “He shouldn't have sent you after him alone in the first place. No one really has a good way to fight the druids and it was a terrible decision to send you alone even though we figured he would have a druid with him. It almost killed you.”

“What happened?” Keith's voice is a whisper.

I let out a sigh. “It was my fault, what happened.” And now I can't look at him. “I thought Loktar was down. I had shot him. A lot. We were leaving and I wasn't fast enough. You-you pushed me out of the way. I-I'm sorry.” My breath is coming in gasps now and I can't get the images out of my mind. I've seen way too much of Keith's blood and can never do anything to help.

I feel him wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tightly to him. “It's ok. You did nothing wrong. You're the one who got me back to the castle. You're the reason I'm still alive.”

“How did you know?” I thought Shiro didn't tell him much.

“Red told me. Well, showed me.” And he had a small smile on his face.

“Traitor.” I whisper but smile back at him.

“It was the least she could do since she showed you things from when you were gone.”

Keith loosens his hold on me when my breathing returns to normal.

“I'm glad you're back.” I say as I lean my head on his shoulder. “Why did you push me out of the way though?”

Keith stiffens for a moment before relaxing again. “We had just gotten you back, I couldn't let anything happen to you. Not again. I almost didn't survive the first time.” His voice is quiet by the end.

I let out a chocked laugh. “Keith, I've had to watch you die so many times now. I was terrified when you were bleeding out because I knew this was real. I wasn't going to wake up tomorrow to try and save every one again. You would just be gone. And you would have never known.”

He looks at me, curiosity in his eyes. “Known what?”

I take a deep breath to steady myself. I've watched him die too many times to hold back any longer. I don't care how he'll react at this point. “Keith, you are the most important person in my life. It has taken a lot for me to realize that but it's true.” I take another breath. “I love you.”

And there it is. He's conscious and staring at me, eyes wide. “What?”

I feel the heat in my face and I can imagine it's bright red. “I feel like this is payback for the bonding moment. I, former blue Paladin and current red Paladin, am in love with the former and current, kind of, red Paladin and Blade of Marmora, Keith.”

It's so silent I'm pretty sure I could hear a pin drop. Keith still has his arms loosely around me which is making this increasingly awkward.

But I'll wait as long as it takes for Keith to fully process the situation and give me an answer.

And then he smiles and I feel the relief flood my system. He at least doesn't hate me.

Then Keith is laughing and pulling me closer to him.

“I'm guessing this means you don't hate me.” I get out.

“Lance, I've had a crush on you since we were in the Garrison.” His smile is brighter than I'd ever seen it. “I love you too.”

The words sink in and then I'm laughing with Keith. I put my arms around him and look into his eyes. I move in slowly, giving him time to pull away. His eyes flick to my lips and back to my eyes. He closes the distance between our lips and it's the best feeling. It's brief but sweet. We pull back from each other and I rest my forehead against his.

Hunk calls everyone for dinner shortly after our confession and we walk to the kitchen hand in hand.

And for the first time in a long time I feel like things might be ok again. Not perfect. There is a lot we still have to do and more that can go wrong.

But we have each other and we have the team. Nothing can stop us as long as we're all together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alluding to the Clone Shiro but won't be doing anything with it. Just wanted to show he was still there. 
> 
> This was a fun story to write. Sorry Lancey Lance, you definitely deserve better and I will write more in this fandom later. As I said before, I have a lot of feels about S7 so I'll be working on a few KLance things in the future. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and let me know how it was or if you just want to rant about S7.


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